untapped mode of expression

I’ve always considered myself more of a gymnast than a dancer, more of a pianist than a dancer, more of a singer than a dancer…..more of many things other than a dancer.
However, after arriving at a little tucked away hostel in Stormsriver, SA last week after an 8 hour car ride with my family and special friend, something started to simmer in my legs. I was incredibly antsy and in an awful mood (for this I apologize to my family and special friend) and couldn’t pinpoint what it could be other than the car-ride or PMS or something silly like that. After dinner I was so conflicted internally as to how to rid myself of this feeling; it was too late to go for a run, I couldn’t sit still to journal, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, etc.

Then I looked outside.

What I saw was like something out of a movie. A huge empty lawn quickly filling with dew, a bright light shining on a huge tree at the end of the lawn giving the entire lawn a slight sheen, and a cloudless sky that beckoned me to come stare at it. The simmer in my legs grew to a boil as I threw off my shoes, I grabbed my iPod, and entered what would become my personal sanctuary.
So I don’t know much about American pop-music these days, but my friend Danielle did make a mixed CD for me with some new “hits”. I have no idea what your opinion of the song “Fireflies” by Owl City is, but let me tell you; that was exactly what the doctor ordered for that moment in time. Who knows, some of you might be gagging right now. But don’t hate, don’t hate; I think it is beautiful. Picture this:
It took me a minute to get over any stage fright I might have had, wondering if someone was watching me from their room or something or might come outside and see me. But soon enough I entered the zone with this song. Under a vast sky with constellations I seldom get to see in the city, I put this song on repeat and for about 40 minutes DANCED MY LIFE OUT. The wannabe conservatory-trained modern dancer in me emerged and I jammed with myself, leaping and twirling and reaching and stretching and exploding and imploding and everything all at once. It was nothing short of magic.
That night I learned a very important lesson; I can be an artist any moment I want to be. Though piano will always be my preferred medium, dance has been an untapped mode of expression for too long and I’ll be damned if I ever get in a funk again and don’t think to dance it out. Though I may never find that perfect dewy lawn again under a South African sky, a zone is a zone is a zone and when you genuinely enter it, the world stops. This sentiment is especially pertinent in the song I danced to. Anytime I hear this song again in my life I will remember this night, smile, and have a little solo dance party in my head.

I’d like to make myself believe

That planet earth turns slowly

It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep

But everything is never as it seems