Round 2- Here We Go!!!

Greetings from beautiful Malawi!!
After a month and a half at home and 5 wonderful days in London I have arrived safely in Lilongwe. It is much cooler, much drier, and I feel much MUCH better being here now than I did in March.
I realized many things when I was at home, and to explain them all would take way too long. However, the most important thing I've realized is that I don't have to live in fear here. For many reasons I can see now that I was living in fear during Malawi Round 1. This had a lot to do with coming here straight after South Africa, a lot to do with the owners of the house Finn and I lived with, a lot to do with a lot of things. Having gone home and shed this, having dissolved the knot that lived in my chest for so long, I can say now that I am genuinely happy to be back and sleep peacefully now, not with one eye opened like I used to. Safety is still a concern, but the possibility of danger doesn't rule my life now.
My dear friend Hadley told me while I was home to never underestimate the unknown. I really like this idea and, because of my trip home, am able to implement this in my life now. I feel much more positive, much more focused, and much more myself.
Ohhhh what a little trip home can do!!!
So much to write about already, and so much to look forward to!!!
More later
~Kaitlin

kaitlininamerica.surprise!.com

Dear All,

As most of you know by now, I am in America at the moment.

To answer some basic questions I have been asked the last week:

Is everything ok? Yes!

Did I tell anyone I was coming? Not really!

Am I glad to be here? YES!

Am I going back to Malawi? YES! 

So yes. I decided it was time for a trip home in early February. I kept getting these huge tsunami waves of homesickness as the months ticked by... 5.... 6.... 7..... and I came to the conclusion that it would be worth the money to take a break. My original intent was to surprise my mother on the morning of her birthday, April 15. My sister and I sneakily paid for the tickets behind her back. Mama Dot had no idea!! But then talking to her on the phone one day, sweet Mama D said, "What if you come home for my birthday instead of me coming over there? I'd like that better." How could I NOT tell her?? So, I did, and all was well. I did not, however, tell hardly anyone else.

I left Malawi on March 28, spent 2 wonderful days in London (my favorite place!), spent the night in the Amsterdam airport (not too bad) and arrived in the USA for the first time in 7 months on April 1. How nice it was to lie on my own bed!! I arrived in Chapel Hill on April 5 and have been surprising people since I got here. There have been some pretty priceless reactions- one friend ran away from me, another thought I was a ghost, another hid in the closet and started crying, another fell on the floor..... etc. It's been quite fun.  I will be in North Carolina until May 13, will spend 6 days in London, and arrive back in Lilongwe on May 20th!

I've only been gone 2 weeks but I already feel a difference in my overall mood/demeanor/outlook. Now I really see the value in taking a step back, looking at the past 7 months from a different angle, and letting them sink in.  This is totally necessary for me. For a while in Malawi I struggled with myself, thinking, "Well, if I go home for a bit people will think I'm a wuss!" Then I realized that's just silly. People can think what they want to think- this trip home is EXACTLY what I need to be doing at this moment.  It will be good for Andrew Finn as well, I know. To see my friends and family, to be anonymous, to feel safe, to run outside, to eat at Carrburritos and Mama Dips and Breadmans and Weaver Street and everywhere else is just what the doctor ordered. I know that by the end of these 7 weeks I will be able to face the next 3-4 months in Malawi much better than I would have if I had stayed. 

So this entry is just to say that kaitlininafrica is taking a little break, but she will be back and ready for action before you know it.

Malawian road signs

Driving in Malawi is always an adventure. Pot-holes, pedestrians, speed-traps and.......

ROAD SIGNS. I never really enjoy driving here, but sometimes you get little gems on the side of the road that make it worth it:

What???

I have no idea what this is for

Chichewa speakers put a vowel on the end of everything. So, AIDS becomes EDZI. 

THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE. Could they look any less interested in having sex?? AWKWARD. I can only imagine the photo shoot for this billboard.

Another one that I dont have a picture for was the back of a sewage truck- it was called:

Ghoo Sewage Services.

In other news, things slowed down for a bit after Irish-Malawi music week, but have picked back up with the arrival of our friend and camera-man Jon!! It is great to have him here! Finn will be playing at the Lake with Peter Mawanga on Saturday- should be a great show. More narratives lined up too- things sure are rolling. 

Glad to hear it is finally spring in NC, and glad it is FINALLY starting to cool down a little bit here.

More later!

Love

Kaitlin

Musings of a Budding Photographer

The photos in this entry were taken at the school where Finn and the Irish musicians performed, as described in the previous entry.

It started at the end of my time in South Africa when I captured the shot that encapsulates South Africa for me; the barbed wire against the red sunset (in a post from December). Since then I have become somewhat obsessed with finding images like that one; ones that you could literally write 1000 words about. So far in Malawi I have taken some photographs that I am pretty proud of… but I must question why I pride myself on these images.

First of all, let me preface this with some truths:

*I know nothing about shutter speeds, light meters, focus…. All the technical stuff

*I only use a point-and-shoot digital camera (Canon PowerShot SX120 IS)

*My sister is much more of a photographer than I and has taken some amazing photos, especially of people. She does the whole dark-room thing, messes with exposures and chemicals and what-not…. all over my head. But she and my mother have always told me I have “an eye” for photography. I always feel weird about that, saying, “Nah, I don’t! I just look!”

I wrote about this just a little in a previous entry, how it is so easy to take a “compelling” photograph in Africa because, well, there’s just seemingly more to work with. For me, it is more challenging to take compelling pictures in Shelby, NC. But what I have been asking myself lately is, ‘why?’ What is it about little bald black heads that is so much more interesting to look at than a bunch of blond heads? For instance, in the following photo (my favorite one from that day), would it be as cool if it were a little white boy with blond hair?

or this one:

Photos I have taken of groups of Malawian children seem so much more striking. I thought, hmm, maybe the lack of hair makes the viewer focus more on the face. So many children here carry the trauma they have seen on their faces:

while others just light up at the sight of a camera:

I absolutely LOVE this picture!! The action!! All of the faces!! But why is it so “cool” that Andrew Finn is the only white person in the frame? Talking with Finn about this, he had some great insights that I agree with and helped me answer many of the questions I posed earlier:

The message in this photo is that while they don’t look alike, Finn and the boys still have so much in common. There is a human connection going on that defies color and culture. This photo proves that these children are more than just postcards for donations- this shows they are actual people. Look at how much fun everyone is having! There aren’t as many differences as we may think; we can all delight in taking a photograph. Therein lies the power. So, the answer to the question about little black heads vs. little blond heads is no, it would not be as cool if it were a little blond boy because the story behind it is that it's all about the cultural exchange, about highlighting differences and diminishing them at the same time. A smile is a smile in any language.

I am also trying to analyze how the look of poverty can become so exoticized in photographs. A photo of an emaciated African child with flies buzzing around it hits people so much harder than a photograph of a Beverly Hills plastic-surgery junkie in her mansion, when I think both are just as sad. It’s sad that the child seemingly has no option and it’s sad that a woman with such unwarranted wealth can think of nothing better to do than get lipo. This is just a made up example, but you know what I mean? Both nauseate me, just for different reasons. It’s easier to inspire people donate money to an NGO through photos of skinny black arms and tattered clothes than it is to inspire people to write their Senators about taxes and health-care reforms through pictures of extravagant American lifestyles. So why don't I start snapping away when I am at a swanky Embassy party full of ex-pats dressed to the nines; ex-pats that work for Aid organizations nonetheless? Where is the real story?

Hmm. 

Anyways.

Sometimes during an interview/narrative session, I ask the person we are talking to if it is ok to take their photo. Our translator and friend, Blessings (also pictured in a previous post) always laughs and says, “Of course its ok!” He says that people never really ask to take pictures, and for the most part Malawians don’t really care. I have to ask though, I feel rude not asking. But you know, maybe for the rural Malawians we have talked to, it is one of the few chances they might have to be immortalized. In a country where death is so common that there are coffin shops on every other street, perhaps to them this photo means that somewhere, somehow, they will be remembered. I’m only guessing.

None of this is to say I am going to give up photography because I feel guilty. No way. I am going to continue showing that little African boys can find joy in watching a group of white musicians play music on instruments they have never seen before because, to me, that’s what its all about. Thus, I am thrilled to continue looking and taking photographs in the name of my quest for the photo.

I’ll let you know what I find.

Mama Brona and Irish-Malawian Fusion Week

Ever met someone and felt like, “How have I not known this person my entire life” This past week I have asked myself this question in regards to my new friend, Brona. Brona is in her 50s, 100% Irish and is an absolute gem of a human being. Since meeting her she has swiftly taken Finn and I under her wing and become our surrogate Mama in Malawi.

            It all started a few weeks ago when we met her at a friend’s house. Finn happened to bring his fiddle and was encouraged to play after dinner. After 1 song, Brona was weeping. “Oh, my, it sounds like home! What a gift!” We exchanged numbers and thought we’d maybe hear from her down the road. A few days later she calls Finn with an exciting offer- to join forces with 4 young Irish musicians who are coming to Malawi for 10 days to perform at different venues around Lilongwe. Of course Finn gave an enthusiastic “YES!” I was also excited because I was invited along too, and Brona wanted me to sing! The dates: Marh 11-17. As I am writing this on the morning of the 17^th, I can say that the past few days have been, hands-down, the most fun I have had in Malawi.

Here’s the play-by-play:

Thursday: Meet and Greet.

Arrive for the first time at Brona’s beautiful home. Meet her 15 year old twin daughters and guests as they start coming in. One was a Malawian woman Victoria who is married to an Irishman named Shane. This was the first bi-racial/cultural couple I had seen in Malawi. Let me tell you- this woman was a hoot. She just started talking away to me about everything under the sun; how I am learning Chichewa, how cold Ireland is, how crazy South Africa is, how she wants to go shopping in Miami… everything.

Then the Irish Lads arrived: Cillian the guitarist, Colm the bodhran player, Ryan the flute player, and Tighe the accordian player. They are all between the ages of 18 and 20 and nice as they could be. We went over the schedule for the week and let them get some rest.

 Friday: Rehearsal and Performance #1

After much speculation, I decided to sing Crooked Still’s version of “Orphan Girl,” originally by Gillian Welch. Crooked Still’s version is much faster, and I think much more fun. But I had just a couple of hours to learn those lyrics….. !

Rehearsal at 1:00 pm at the house of Brian O’Brien (could that name be any more Irish?!) who works for the Irish Embassy. For this rehearsal, all people performing had to come- including the Malawian band Mafilika!! YALL. I can’t explain how well Irish music and Malawian music blend. It was unreal. All 9 musicians started jamming and I just watched in awe as everyone in the room started smiling, realizing simultaneously, “Damn, this sounds good!” That translates into any language.

So after an intense jam session/rehearsal, it was time to get ready for the sound check. Went home to get dressed and then straight to the school for sound check. Didn’t take too long. Then the guests started streaming in! I was only a little nervous; I haven’t sung in front of a crowd that size in years. There were 300 people in the audience and I’d say about 95% were ex-pats. It felt so weird- more like an assembly in Ohio than in Malawi!

As the organizer of the event, Brona also served as the MC for the evening. She was great and the first half of the show was a hit. I was at the top of the second half so I started to get more nervous, but Finn calmed me down. When the time came, I put on my Southern charm and just went for it. I was pretty proud of how it went and people seemed to like it. But the number that brought the house down was Brian O’ Brien doing traditional Irish dancing along with this local guy Shambe, who was doing traditional Malawian dancing. It was amazing. I really wish I had taken a video of it. The crowd went nuts. So so cool.

All in all it was a huge success and everyone loved the Irish-Malawian fusion. After the concert Finn and I had so many people come up to us and congratulate us, especially him as he played the entire show. It was a real confidence booster to have all of these women tell me that they loved my voice- wow! We were floating on air. The American Ambassador came up to Finn and said, “Tonight, you made America proud.” HOW BOUT THAT?!?

(Unfortunately Finn and I forgot the camera that night! But, Brian O’Brien is making a DVD of the performance. So if youre realllllllllly interested in like October when I am home you can see it then)

 Saturday: Family Fun Day and Peformance #2

Woke up in the morning feelin like P. Diddy. Headed back over to the school with our house-mate Eleonora for Family Fun Day! Again I wondered, “Am I in Nebraska or something?” So many ex-pats and their kids, it really felt like home. A huge braai, Gaelic football for everyone to watch, face painting for the kids, plenty of sun and plenty of shade. We stayed for about 2 hours and just soaked it up. I even drank a Coke (highly unusual, but I felt really American all of a sudden and it just fit). Back home in the afternoon and then over to 4 Seasons, this complex that has a nice restaurant, bar, and a bunch of little shops (again, mainly ex-pats or upper-class Malawians). The sound check was at 5:30 for an 8:30 show. The Malawian guys were there at 5:00 like we were, but when did the Irish musicians show up? 9:30. How’s that for Malawian time? The bar was disgustingly smoky and full of drunk people but the show was great. So energetic, like a rock show. I sat with some friends and watched while drunk people tried to dance “Irish” (to no avail). The show finally wrapped up around 12:30 and we were home by 1. A lonnnnnng night.

 Sunday: Private Dinner Party and Irish Music Session at Brona’s

Headed over to Brona’s at 6:00 pm for a beautiful evening. There were maybe 40 people total. We had a fantastic meal. I don’t think I’ve painted a sufficient picture of how incredibly sweet Brona is, so here is an example: during dinner, she pretty much said the following in about 4 seconds in the sweetest Irish accent:

 “Do you want some more? Are you sure? Oh, don’t be shy. Please. Have some more. Is that ok? Can I get you a drink? Oh, don’t be silly. What will you like? Ok, coming right up darling.”

The Irish lads + Finn started playing and everyone gathered around in a circle; nice low-key atmosphere. Brona encouraged people to sing (she sang herself, lovely voice) and convinced me to sing as well. I did a little Gavin DeGraw inspired rendition of “Tracks of my Tears” and felt good about it. About 3 hours into the event I realized Brona has a TRAMPOLINE so I naturally freaked out and went and did about 20 back flips on it. I felt like I was 8 years old. Awesome. Finally the night drew to a close and Finn and I went home happy.

 Moday: Off

Finn and I had a narrative scheduled for that day and could not join the lads to perform at local schools. But we were able to the next day….

Tuesday: Performances #3 and #4  at Local Schools

The idea behind this whole series of events is to share culture through music. While it was great to perform for all of the adoring ex-pats, it wouldn’t be right if the lads didn’t perform for Malawians. Tuesday morning headed straight over to Brona’s and hopped in her car, the Irish lads following behind, and drove out about 30 minutes to a rural Catholic primary school. There were about 300 children in the auditorium. Seeing their faces when the lads started playing was incredibly cute, but waned in comparison to when they started dancing on stage with them. Imagine 5 pasty white boys jamming away on some jigs and polkas as hundreds of little Malawian children giggle and dance along:

 So incredible. I got some good video footage and will post it when it won’t take 8396732 years to load (whiiiiiiiiich means when I get home). Anyways, we grabbed a quick lunch then headed off to the second school, which was for me the best part of the whole week. It was an all boys school somewhere out in the sticks. When we arrived they looked SO excited. The school had no hall like the previous one. Instead we wandered out into this beautiful field behind the school. The Irish lads + Finn set up in the shade of this giant tree in front of their audience of about 400 boys. It was pure magic. The boys were totally enthralled and even got up to perform a song they had written about HIV/AIDS for us. So much dancing, so much smiling… it hit me in that moment:

**It is days like these that remind me why I am here**

These are just a couple shots to give you an idea. I took TONS of photos and will make a separate entry with my best ones.  Anyways, during our car ride back home, Brona, Finn and I starting talking about the ex-pat lifestyle, struggles, diversity in culture, and many other things I have thought and written about since my arrival in Malawi. Talking with Brona made so much sense. 

My favorite quote from Brona throughout the discussion was:

“I just have to remember that I have learned far more

than what I have had to put up with.”

BINGO! I thought. The traffic bribes, the heckling at the market, the inconceivable amount of pot-holes, the taunts of ‘mzungu’ everywhere you go…. all those petty things that we as ex-pats in the city begrudgingly put up with on a daily basis are nothing in comparison to what we learn through these experiences. 2 weeks ago I would have probably written, “To what avail? To say that we went through it? To learn how to apologize to traffic police when in actuality you’ve done nothing wrong and they’re just milking what miniscule ounce of power they have?” While I think there is still truth in that, talking in the car with Brona made something click. I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else, someone who I can see has seen a lot in her many years in Africa and is not hardened but grateful that she has been able to learn. “Ah, sure there are days when I’ve said, ‘THAT’S IT! IM GOIN HOME!’ But then you learn how to deal with things, sweety, you know what I mean? And it may not seem like it at the time, but you come out better for it. Trust me, you do”

 Wednesday: HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!

As I am writing this the morning of, I can’t tell you about the event at the Irish Ambassador’s house… yet. Stay tuned! I am definitely excited about tonight but also a little sad because it’s all about to be over. “Now what!?” This past week has been an absolute blast. While I can’t expect every week to be this action packed, I am certainly glad I got to be a part of all of the celebrations. I am so glad to have met all of the musicians and especially Mama Brona. I know that she will be a good friend for some time to come and I can’t explain how comforting it is to have a Mama figure around. I also know that I would not have had the opportunity to be involved in any of this if Finn were not so dedicated and passionate about Irish music. Props. I never thought I’d say it, but DAMN it pays to date an Irish musician! 

happy kids

another way i entertain myself? PHOTO BOOTH YALL. 

Andrew had never seen it. So i gave him a 30 minute tutorial. We had just finished watching a Tae-Bo DVD, hence the headband and goofy endorphin-induced expressions. 

Andrew Finn Magill. Doing Tae-Bo. 

What a sight.

More updates to come, including an action-packed Irish-Malawian fusion jam session.

SAY WHAT! 

how i entertain myself when it gets dark at 6:15 every day

1) watch "Lost"
I vowed to never get sucked in. BUT ITS SO GOOD. I wrote an apology email to all my friends who I ever made fun of for watching "Lost". A friend of mine here in Lilongwe had the first season on DVD and made me take it home. "You can thank me later" she said. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

2) watch "Glee"
I never watch TV at home! What the hell! But when its 8:00 pm and I know I'm not going anywhere else that night, my roommate Eleanora and I have Glee dates. We watched the whole first season in about 1 week rationing out the episodes, 2 per night. Andrew Finn does not participate. I think he's jealous because one of the characters is named Finn. Anyway. It makes me want to start a Lilongwe Glee Club. Or just go back to high school for like a day. Maybe. DAMN MERCEDES CAN SING.

3) Make up names for NGOs
"Hope" this and "Care" that. Come on, folks. Get a little more creative. How about "Just Tryina Get a Fanta" or "Give Em Some Maize Flour". Those are some of the more offensive ones. Making these up over dinner can be quite fun.

4) Have a dance party
....by myself. Andrew Finn usually retreats to his creative lair after dinner. I venture in sometimes to collaborate. But other times, this is our only time apart during the day and yall KNOW I need some alone time. He does too. So I'll put on my iPod and work on some hip-hop in the room. Maybe 3 minutes abs?

5) Read. 

Sometimes.  I am reading "The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind" right now, but can I be honest? Though it is a wonderful book and I am learning a lot about Malawi through it, sometimes I want to escape Malawi for a little bit, you know? Hence the Glee.

6)Write emails to people on MS Word
No internet at home. It stopped working. So I'll draft emails on a Word Document

7) Write this

Love
Kaitlin